Hopelessness- What is this emotion, this state ? What options do we have
once we start swimming in hopelessness.
Being a creative and highly energetic male I usually can get just about anything flowing. But every once in a while I come up against something
that just doesn't want to move. This once in a while usually revolves around my family.
I find that my family likes to talk about change, Even instruct us how to get there. However when it comes time to take action and implement the program my family does everything but show up.
I have tried to let them just live their lives, but some of their choices directly
effect my daily life and well being. When it comes to my father's health and
his willingness to be an active participant in it, I am at a complete loss.
What does a son do when his interest in his fathers health is much greater
then the fathers interest to get healthy. What does a son do when he watches
everybody collecting a paycheck and my father's condition gets worse.
What does a son do when his so called spiritual sister ignores the truth
and hides behind fear as she controls the resources. What does a son do
when the father pays attention to the uneducated maid about his health
when the son holds several degrees in healthcare.
All these things lead me down the road of hopelessness. I step out of my
true authentic self and begin to operate from behind the created armor
that I only think protects my true self. The problem is when this happens
I not only want to give up on my family but on myself. This is where I lose myself and as long as I stay involved in my families affairs, I remain lost