I have found that peace-of-mind often follows successfully wrestling with a thorny decision. On this particular issue, my resolution is made: I have decided to go to the reunion!
Can it be thirty-five years? It' will be a blast to see everyone? Well ... almost everyone. What will I say if fill-in-a-name-here shows up?! I wonder who's changed the most. In reality, everyone in the class has probably moved on ... like the flowing of the Hudson River. I know some have moved to other countries, others moved away to new states (geographically), and still others have found new states of mind. Sadly, I've heard of many classmates we've lost altogether.
Although many miles and moons separate us, many threads binds us together. The connections may be threadbare and faded in the wardrobe of our memories. Yet they evoke a strong and familiar sense of kinship that only comes from sharing early years in a small community among friends. Of course we would be close: some of us played in the sand together at five years old; others celebrated a first cartwheel or home run at eight; and many slept over at each other's houses at twelve. Who can forget those confusing or crazy urges around the same time and how dear friends helped one another when one of us fell through the ice a few years later… of course the "ice" had little to do with a frozen pond and more with pains of growing up! I couldn't have survived without my friends. What a satchel full of fond memories! I'm going to the reunion so I can share the warmth of these memories again ...even if for a moment. It will be a blast.
I've changed for sure. "fill-in-a-name-here" could be there and it will be okay ... What I think I really mean is "I'll be okay!" I've matured and mellowed and let go of so much. We've all grown-up and can see life more clearly now. You know ... the word "disillusion" has an undeserved reputation. It doesn't "literally" mean jaded or cynical, as it is so often used. A true and simple distillation of the word is "To lose the illusion!" When is clear sight ever not welcome? It's normal to hold youthful exuberance and illusion together when we were young. But travelling life's landscape helps see a more balanced, realistic, and mirthful mix of both hardship and joy. We are on friendlier terms with life's ups and downs because of time's passing. But an essential part of this 'improved-vision' comes from dear friends and classmates who knew us in our youth and many we know still better today.
I'm going back to see them and others as well, to celebrate those early years, rekindle the community-kinship, and to toast everyone -- even those who can't make it. We will miss them and I'll say a prayer in my heart for them, just the same. It's going to be such a party of fond stories, fun memories, laughter, and ... dare I say love.
Yes it's decided, I'm going to the high school reunion with my clear vision and a sense of peace I didn't know as well at earlier reunions. I'll see dear old friends and hope to touch or hold some of those threadbare memories. I know what I'll wear: my genuine self! See, peace always reigns once I make a resolution. |
